


I Told You

by Ahon



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Has some plot to it but still, I am literally garbage for these two, M/M, My First Smut, One Shot, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-24 05:45:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6143404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ahon/pseuds/Ahon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a small debacle, Dirk takes Jake up on a challenge that could turn out to be beneficial to them both.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Jake English feels like a total lump right now.

After about a ten minute argument with basically his own brain, but in Dirk form, he had managed to scare Aranea off, which is not what he had intended when she had appeared. But that’s what happens when your own brain argues with you but the person you’re arguing about can’t see the other part of your brain that has taken the form of your best friend.

God that sounded confusing even after it had actually happened.

Jake slumped to the ground, hands covering his face. It had taken about five seconds for him to completely turn into a pile of stuttering, excuse-making garbage and scare off a very attractive woman. After she left, he started to blame Dirk, but then realized that Dirk was just a manifestation of his own mind, so he could only blame himself. He started to wonder if maybe his own brain didn’t want him to succeed in romance, but before he could wallow too deeply into that chasm of self-pity, he caught a glimpse of a skinny pair of legs in front of him.

“Hey” said the nearly-transparent Dirk Strider.

Jake grumbled, sinking his face back into his hands.

“Woah there, someone doesn’t seem to be in a great mood.” Said the blonde.

“Leave me be Strider, or is it my own consciousness coming to torment me in my state?” Jake responded bitterly.

“A little of both.” Dirk said back, kneeling in front of the sulking brunette.

“Oh, grand. Can I be allowed to wallow in peace?” Jake said, not taking his face out of his hands.

“Nah, since I’m in your head your sad thoughts are bumming me out, so I’ve come to cheer you up.”

“Nothing you could do could possible cheer me up, Strider, especially since you caused this catastrophe!” Jake retorted, still not looking up.

Dirk reached out and gently pulled Jake’s face out of his hands, which was weird, since Jake knew he wasn’t really there but could still feel his touch as if he was.

“Well, I could still give you a boner…” Dirk said with a sly smile.

Jake stared a moment, a bit taken aback by the suddenness of Dirk’s statement compared to his gentle touch. Then he blushed furiously, jerking away and falling back on the ground slightly.

“What!?!? No! Absolutely not!” Jake exclaimed, blush growing.

Dirk stood, giggling, hand over his mouth.

“Jake, you’re too cute, I can’t help it” he said, kneeling on the floor and reaching towards Jake.

“Dirk, the friggin’ hell is this?!? I-I’m not ready for this sort of tom-foolery!!” Jake continued to protest, crawling back slightly.

Dirk scoffed, removing his shades. Jake’s blush brightened a little at that. For no reason at all. None.

“Remember how I said I’m a figment of your imagination? On some level, you want me to try this…” said the blonde, continuing to advance.

“WhattheinalltheblueblazingI-I…” Jake stuttered incoherently. “No!”

Dirk stopped, giving Jake a wry smile and waiting.

Jake felt a twinge of spite go through him.

“Well, you couldn’t before, so you couldn’t even give me one if you tried, so there! Ha!” he said, grinning triumphantly.

Dirk tilted his head to the side, smile turning into a grin.

“Is that a challenge, English…?” said the blonde, cocking an eyebrow.

Jake’s blush grew tenfold.

“Yes!” he said quickly, then stopped, “I-I mean no!”

“Too late…” Dirk said, leaning forward.

Jake gave a yelp of surprise as Dirk’s hand gently took his cheek, slowly inching him forward until their lips met.

Jake couldn’t even think about how this was basically him kissing his own brain. All he could think about was how soft Dirk felt. How their lips seemed to link together perfectly. And then, after a few moments of gentle kissing, Jake felt a tongue slip in against his.

The kiss grew heated fast after that. Dirk shifted upwards, sitting in Jake’s lap, making Jake lean against the ground with his elbows. Dirk placed a hand on Jake’s knee, rubbing his thumb against it, fingers brushing his thigh under his shorts. Jake’s eyes lidded, and Dirk’s closed as they both began to rock with the kiss, Jake pushing first, then Dirk, until they were both fighting for dominance.

Dirk won.

After several long moments, Dirk parted the kiss, panting. To Jake’s both embarrassment and arousal, there was a trail of saliva hanging between their mouths. Dirk licked his lips, breaking the trail before he could notice it.

“I told you I could give you a boner…” Dirk said, voice heavy.

Jake didn’t even register it, but Dirk was right, His pants currently felt horribly restricting, and Dirk’s almost too-perfect ass sitting on top didn’t help. Jake blushed, about to say something when he noticed that Dirk shared the same dilemma.

“I’m not the only one, chap…” Jake said with a small smirk.

Dirk looked down, blushing as well.

“W-well, technically, this is all in your head, so that’s your boner just on my--“

Dirk was interrupted by Jake placing a hand on his pants, his words turning into a soft moan that made Jake melt.

Dirk turned to Jake, eyes hungry. He leaned forward, and Jake prepared himself for another intense kiss, but instead felt those lips on his neck, making him shiver. Jake brought his hands up to Dirk’s shoulders, surprised that his hands didn’t pass through them. He trailed his fingers down Dirk’s arms, earning an eager nip by the blonde in response. Jake bit his lip to hold back a moan.

Dirk glanced up and Jake, pulling back, much to the latter’s dismay. Dirk pulled up his shirt, tossing it aside, making Jake blush again. They were actually going to do this. Right now. Did this count as masturbating? What even was this?

Jake’s nervous thoughts were interrupted yet again by Dirk, who had begun to trail his hands up Jake’s shorts, rubbing at his thighs. Jake shivered again, hands curling in the dirt. He realized they were still outside, which, even in his limited experience, did not seem the best place to have sex. He also realized he didn’t really care.

Dirk looked back up at Jake, his own face a shade of red as well. “You still okay with this?” he said. Jake pondered the meaning of his own brain asking for consent, but not for very long. He nodded, still biting his lip.

Dirk nodded back, slipping his hands from Jake’s shorts and moving to his belt, slowly unbuckling it, then undoing the button of the shorts themselves. He slowly zipped Jake down, slipping the shorts from his legs and tossing them with his own shirt. Jake sighed as the tension was relieved, then yelped as he felt a hand on his erection, blushing.

Dirk smirked slightly at Jake, then began to rub him through his underwear. Jake moaned openly, nails digging into the dirt. He turned away, eyes shut. If he looked at Dirk now, he was pretty sure he would do something embarrassing.

Dirk continued his strokes, gripping Jake’s member and pumping it lightly. Eventually this underwear was going to be a problem, so he decided to eliminate it before it could become one. He pulled them down slowly, looking up at Jake, who was watching him now, blushing like mad and biting his lip to keep from moaning again.

Dirk tossed the obstructive clothing aside, looking at Jake a moment.

“Wow… you’re really amazing, you know that…?” Dirk breathed, rubbing at Jake’s thigh absentmindedly. Jake blushed, covering his face with a hand.

Dirk chuckled softly, lying flat on the ground, which would feel weird in the dirt if he wasn’t a ghost. Or a figment of imagination, whatever. He trailed a finger down Jake’s now-exposed shaft, savoring the small noise that Jake made when he did so.

This was going great so far.

For both parties involved.

There was a moment where Jake didn’t feel Dirk do anything, and he looked down, about to ask if something was wrong when Dirk took him in his mouth. Jake moaned instead of asking the question, his whole body turning wobbly and he fell flat on the dirt, hand covering his face. Dirk didn’t seem to mind though, continuing his efforts as he began to bob slowly up and down. Jake covered his mouth to try and stifle the embarrassing noises coming out of his mouth at that moment, but it was no use, as they spilled out between his fingers. Dirk thought every one of those sounds was beautiful.

Dirk felt Jake tense under him and knew he was close. This was his first time, so it was to be expected. Technically it was Dirk’s first time too, but he wasn’t going to mention that. He came off of Jake with a light pop, looking up.

“Jake… look at me…” Dirk panted.

Jake bit his lip, removing his hand and looking down slowly, his whole face and neck red now.

Dirk slowly took Jake back inside his mouth, watching to make sure Jake didn’t fall back again. Jake inhaled sharply, hips bucking slightly as his back arched. That was all it took.

Dirk had closed his eyes, taking as much of Jake as he could as he swallowed eagerly. Jake continued to moan, his long drawn out exclamations from before turning into short, breathy gasps as Dirk continued to suck. After a long moment, Dirk slid off of Jake, having swallowed everything he had given. Jake felt like he was in heaven.

“W-well…this was…holy fuck…” Dirk panted, looking up at Jake.

Jake nodded, too tired to do much else. He sat up, brushing off the dirt from his arms and legs lazily.

Dirk sat up with him, biting his lip, and even though he was mostly transparent Jake could swear he saw him blush.

“Soooo… we gonna maybe… do this again?” Dirk asked, his exposed eyes revealing how nervous he really was.

Jake smiled, reaching out and cupping Dirk’s face gently.

“Yeah. Most definitely. Absotively posilutely.”


	2. Small Epilogue

 “So, you and my head, huh?” Dirk said with a sly smirk.

Jake blushed, groaning. This had been going on for a while now, ever since he had revived Dirk by maybe actually kissing his severed head. There was an unusual moment of calm where they could all sit and chat, and while Roxy and Jane were over in one corner, Dirk decided to torment Jake in theirs.

“I did it to revive your sorry rump, Strider! I think you could be less mocking and more appreciative!” Jake said with a huff.

Dirk chuckled.

“Yeah you’re right… thanks man…” Dirk said, pushing Jake playfully.

An arch of static raced between them, and both boys jumped. Jake rubbed his arm.

Dirk was frozen, eyes wide. He blushed, then raised his eyebrows, then his blush grew.

“You… and me… in your head… the me in your head, we… you…” Dirk rambled, hand suspended in the air.

Jake was confused at first, then his own blush matched Dirk’s as his eyes widened behind his glasses.

“H-howdoyouknowaboutthat!?” Jake exclaimed, panic running through him.

“I-I don’t know, Prince of Hearts thing? That static thing happened and I… I saw it all… through my, uhm, brain-me’s eyes… holy shit…” Dirk whispered, covering his mouth with his hand.

Jake buried his face in his own hands, unable to look at Dirk. He knew everything. And there was a lot to know.

After a moment Jake felt Dirk’s hand on his shoulder and jumped. Jake slowly looked up, nerves running through him like electricity. Dirk looked at him intensely, and Jake felt himself squirm slightly. Then Dirk raised his other hand, taking off his shades, and Jake froze, a sliver of hope racing through his heart.

Dirk leaned forward suddenly and caught Jake in a kiss, the feeling familiar but different, and Jake was unprepared. He almost fell back but quickly propped himself up, leaning into the kiss once the shock wore off.

Dirk pulled back first, panting, a slight smile on his lips.

“Well, it seems I have a lot to live up to…” Dirk said, and Jake shivered slightly.

Both boys smiled at each other, and for a moment in this hellish game, everything seemed like it was going to be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, I had an idea for a more solid ending to this, so I thought I'd add it as an epilogue! Does that still make it a one-shot? Whatever, have some gays!

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, hi, first fic. Written at the insistence of my friend. First time writing smut, and lord was it a ride. Any comments would be lovely. Thank you Saoirse for telling me to write this, it was a lot of fun.


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